Libra Full Moon of Clarifying Uncomfortability with Helvella vespertina

Libra Full Moon of Clarifying Uncomfortability with Helvella vespertina

in 18°43' Libra

Tuesday, April 7th

8:35 pm MST

We are clarifying our uncomfortable emotions.

Fungus: Helvella vespertina or "Western Elfin Saddle"

Hello sweet friends and Happy Full Moon!! Any Full Moon is a time to confront emotional cycles and to cultivate a willingness to be with your emotions. To receive them, nourish them, and flow with them.

If we neglect our emotions or disown them, they stagnate, get pushed down, and will reappear in stronger intensity.

The Moon has been at perigee since the beginning of March creating slightly larger and bright looking supermoons. This is the last supermoon before the Moon continues in its orbit, now traveling towards its apogee.

This Moon's illumination cycle is all about your committed partnerships and important relationships with other fruiting bodies! You exist in tandem with those most important to you, and this Full Moon uncovers some clarity with our intimate entanglements.

How are you reaching some sort of clarity? Through releasing pain, suffering, and frustration, we have extended into our mycelial roots a little more deeply.

This Libra Full Moon is opposite Chiron and Lilith and conjunct Juno, all asteroids with great mythology. We are going to focus on the story of Juno, otherwise known as Hera. Oh, you've heard of her? We're opening into her as the Moon is currently exchanging vibes with this asteroid of right relationship. In the discussion of her mythology, Hera's unending jealousy towards Zeus actually uncovers incredible value in our heavy, unwanted feelings.

Helvella vespertina, or the Western Elfin Saddle, is here to saddle up with us as we feel into our dark emotions. They have grey to brown to black lobed caps and intricately ribbed stems. I think they look so curious and inviting while also a bit gruesome and mischevious.

Helvella vespertina

Jealousy as virtue

The popular Greek understanding of Hera was that she was the wife of the greatest Greek god, Zeus, and was always looking to burst into a jealous and vengeful fit over him. Zeus had countless affairs with other goddesses, nymphs like Callisto, and even mortals like Io. Zeus was historically criticized as an unfaithful lover and it was precisely this cycle of lust, infidelity, jealousy, and vengeance that would be the cornerstone of their relationship.

In between Hera and Zeus was also passionate desire. Their glorious garden wedding night lasted a staggering 300 years and they had three children together: Ares, the god of war, Eileithyia, the goddess of childbirth, and Hebe, the goddess of youth. Even though their relationship was volatile, they remained bound for eternity, seemingly in constant competition.

Most of us nowadays are probably shaking our head at this myth in disgust and frustration and reacting with a nuanced distrust in Zeus.

Many of us also live in states where we sometimes feel uncomfortable emotions like jealousy, anger, guilt, or mistrust, and we're not quite sure how to handle these emotions or what their value is.

Finding value in uncomfortable emotions

In Greek mythology, it makes sense for Zeus, the governor of the universe, to want erotic connection with everything in this world. It makes sense for this erotic spark to be giving life to everything it touches. What is it like to be in a committed partnership with this unbounded desire, though?

How can anyone be a "wife" or a partner of cosmic proportions without always feeling threatened?How can anybody be in a committed partnership with anything of cosmic proportions without feeling heavy feelings like insecurity or rage? Where do your cosmic proportions lie? Projects, aspirations, humans, animals, places, groups, ideas? 

How are people affected and tied into your deep cosmic commitments?

Jealousy preserves hearth and quality

So, you know who Zeus is, right? Jupiter! Forever expanding and seeking meaning. And, maybe you've heard, that on Saturday, April 4th, Jupiter conjoined Pluto (Hades) in 23° Capricorn for the first time in ~12 years, creating a new cycle of finding meaning in decay and renewal.

Zeus, or Jupiter, goes out into the world and even our physical solar system. He expands and wants to merge and grow with everything he touches. Erotic, sensual energy is the making of this physical dimension.

On the other hand, Hera's rage speaks for home, family, and commitment. Introvertedness. Interiority. Hearth. If we didn't become jealous, and allow ourselves to feel these embarrassing or unwanted feelings, too many events would take place and too much life would be lived! Too many connections would be made and expanded without deepening and finding quality.

Jealousy, frustration, grief, and loss serve the soul by pressing for your own limits. By searching for quality.

Possessiveness as a reflection of limits and your own damn shadow

Let's bring in the discussion on possession as Taurus season is right around the corner! (April 19th)

Do you feel like possessiveness is outside of yourself?

Like, do you feel that possessiveness or jealousy is foreign to your values? Unwanted or rejected?

If we don't identify with hard emotions, then they will become compulsive and overwhelming. They will explode and throw up when you're least expecting.

Since our culture prizes such individual freedom and choice, the desire to possess is a piece of our collective SHADOW. 

Shadows may seem to have a sharp contrast from what's outside of them. The darkness that becomes cast by the light.

However, in the right light, shadows can blur together and soon form a globular, collective mass. On top of individual shadow, we can also have collective shadow! That some of us aren't even aware of or identify with. When we don't identify with these collective shadows, or any shadows, that's when they come up and bite us in the butt.

Helvella vespertina can sometimes become parasitized by Hypomyces cervinigenus,
a white mold that turns pinkish-orange with age.

Your unwanted and sticky emotions are actually your real desire. Listen to them!!

What is jealousy, or fear, or other unwanted feelings if they're not asking something of you? Jealousy asks us to love attachment and dependence and to risk the unbearable pain of separation. And -- to find fulfillment in partnership with other people! This can be any kind of partnership to those who exist external to you, not necessarily romantic by any means.

In spite of her possessiveness, Hera is drawn to the god of Erotic Liberation and she herself embodies half of the relationship. Hera lives in the tension between having and not having Zeus. 

To live in this tension is one way of bringing seemingly different aspects of ourselves together. This perspective that knows we are all individuals, ultimately alone in this life. The utter dependence we have upon each other is actually so beautiful.

When you long for more experience, for new people, for starting over, jealousy remembers the feeling of attachment (!) and feels the unending pain of separateness, rejection, and divorce.



As long as you believe the problem is outside of you, the pattern will find a way to emerge over and over even if you have a secure partner, project, dog, or sense of self.

It's our work to listen to the feelings that arise. To work with these feelings and ask them why they're here. To invite them in for a cup of tea and maybe a sandwich. Jealousy is fulfilled only when in connection with other people. This connection can also make demands.

How do you live with, not against, this tension inside of yourself? Listen and honor it? How do you recognize and respect this tension in others?

Thursday 4/9 Venus enters Rx Shadow in 5°20' Gemini

Venus retrograde cycle has been observed at least since the Babylonian era and this Venus Rx knowledge actually predates any horoscope, or natal chart astrology. Venus Rx, as it moves around the horoscope, traces a perpetual dial of 5 near-equidistant pivots, creating a celestial depiction of a star. (Imagine a star-shape traced over a Natal Chart). Venus will be Rx during the Summer Solstice on 6/20.

Venus enters shadow on 4/9 in 5°20' Gemini

Venus stations Rx on 5/13 in 21°50' Gemini

Venus stations D on 6/25 in 5°20' Gemini

Venus leaves shadow on 7/28 in 21°50' Gemini

How are you re-visualizing your resources and finances? Strategizing different approaches for projects or aspirations? This is a wonderful time for reconciliation, forgiveness, and re-sparking the playful and witty nature of your relationships. During this Rx cycle, Libra and Taurus are sensitive to this backwards motion and might encounter blockages. Be mindful and trust your teachings as they arise.

The mutable signs of Pisces, Virgo, Gemini, and Sagittarius will also be greatly influenced by this backtracking. Use this time to study and build, not so much making big changes or decisions.

Somtimes Helvella vespertina's lobed cap is more grey than black.

4/9 Moon in Scorpio Trine Neptune in Pisces

4/18 Moon conjunct Neptune

Be sure to relax in the cosmic ocean on both of these days.

Saturday 4/11 Mercury enters Aries

Mercury catches up to the Sun in Aries. This is a bright and brilliant spot for Mercury -- there's a huge, innovative mental flicker and we want to explore fresh ways of thinking and communicating. What do you want to learn? How can you rejuvenate your self-walk? How can you communicate better?

Friday 4/17 Saturn in Aquarius Quincunx North Node in Cancer

We are already feeling this energy as we move into exact aspect. This is a redirecting energy where we feel like an adjustment is being made. What do Aquarius and Cancer have in common? Seemingly different, one is fixed air and the other cardinal water. How are your mental burdens at odds with emotionally moving beyond your habitual behavior? What are your emotional origins? How is our ability to myceliate and share a common dream at odds with how we need to nourish ourselves and our emotions?



Sunday 4/19 Sun enters Taurus

Happy Taurus Season! I'm offering discounted reading rates throughout Taurus Season. If you have Taurus Sun, Rising, Moon, or Mercury, then a 60 min. reading with me is only $45. Email me (WeRecomposing@gmail.com) if you're curious or check out the astrology readings on the website for more info.